Growing up, I'm sure many of you played the make-believe game of house. There were fathers and mothers and children. You pretended to have the responsibility of working, of caring for a family, maybe even partaking in family worship if you were so pious. And as you've grown older, those ideals and make-believe games might even haunt you given the fact that they felt so perfect. In those days, and even maybe today, you have these standards of what a family should be, what it should do, and how it should interact. The standards of our make-believe games were likely influenced by our own upbringing, by television or simply the reversal of what you experienced at home. These standards that we have, they must be examined. We need to know their roots and their source. Is the influence the Brady Bunch or is it the Scriptures? Is it Ayn Rand and Freud or is it God? Listen, the household and work are seen as places of self-fulfillment, that it's meant to make you or I feel good. There's an element of that. But the household and our work are not meant to serve us but Christ. Our imaginations and our actual practices must come to see that the home and work is for Christ. To image His lordship, to picture His intentions, to serve Him, please Him and reveal Him through our words and our deeds. So that whatever we do in word or in deed would be done in the name of Christ. That was verse 17, the verse that comes right before the reading that we just read. For Paul here and in other letters, he records for us the household code. This is a code that those in Asia Minor would have known in principle. There are elements of what Paul says here in the writings of Aristotle. But Paul, what he says here is not an endorsement to philosophy. He is pointing that Christ is the Lord of life. We've seen over the last few weeks how Jesus is supreme over all of life. It's almost as though that Paul has been zooming in on what that means. That Jesus has been supreme or is supreme over the earth and heaven. And then he zooms in a little bit more and he says that Jesus is supreme and the head of the church. And now Paul goes on to say that Jesus is supreme over the household and work. Jesus is the Lord of life. And this includes our most intimate relationships. Another way to say this is that the gospel reorients the home and the workplace. That they are meant to serve Christ, please Christ and reflect Christ. And we see this in the three different relationships that Paul mentions here. Husbands and wives, parents and children, employee and employers. This morning we'll see how these different relationships are meant to serve Christ, please Christ and reflect Christ. And so our outline will follow the three different relationship pairs that I mentioned earlier. You can follow along on the back middle portion of your bulletin to see the outline printed for you there. I must say as your pastor of eight weeks, I don't want to preach this text. Pardon me, wanted to ask Don to preach it. But despite my age, years married, lack of children or time elapsed as your pastor, we as a church believe in lector continua, meaning we preach the text that comes in order, seeking to be faithful week over week, expositing and revealing what God is saying to his people despite our feelings and our preferences. So be reminded this morning church, this is God's word, not Jim's opinion. That they are God's principles given to us, not ones that I made up. So whatever distraction might be impeding these truths penetrating your heart today, may God remove it. Whether it's a lack of relational capacity that I have to be your pastor or lived experience, whatever it may be, what qualifies me this morning in this message is the Lord. It is his word and may we have ears to hear. That being said, may we look at our first point, wives and husbands. The gospel reorients marriage. It is meant to serve, please and reflect Christ. Look at me at verses 18 and 19. Unlike the last few weeks in Colossians where I mentioned that there was a therefore in the text, verse 18 does not have a therefore. It simply follows and is a part of Paul's argument of put off and put on. Verse 17, he says, whatever you do in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks through him. These commands in our passage this morning are the specific words and deeds that are to be done in the name of Lord Jesus in the home and the workplace. Remember the wife, the deed commanded to you is to submit to your husband as is fitting in the Lord. This is a command for wives to submit to their own husbands, not all men. I remember being on a mission strip and my co-leader who could have been the age of my own mother looks at me and says, well, whatever you say, because you're the man. At this point, this is like 10 years ago, I was not a pastor. There was no reason to give me that level of authority. The scriptures give us roles and responsibilities though, based on gender, relationship, character, and competency. And these are things that we, in nor I, need to apologize for. Instead, I think we do need to explain it though. And what we need to begin with is a biblical anthropology that women are not made subservient to man. God made Eve in the garden to compliment Adam, to be co-equal with him in dignity and respect. But they did have different roles and responsibilities. Adam was to be the garden's protector and propagator and Eve was to help him in that task. The primary task of providing, protecting, being a prophet in your home, teaching the scriptures and being a priest, praying and cleansing your family is the roles and responsibility for a husband. Those four P's are borrowed from the late Vodie Baucom, helpful to know the roles and responsibilities of a husband. And wives are called to support and help in these tasks. This does not mean that women cannot work. It doesn't mean that they can't help in protection. It doesn't mean that they can't help in teaching the Bible to your children or cleanse the family with prayer. But the primary task falls on the husband. In the garden, after the serpent is cursed, in verse 16 of Genesis chapter 3, Adam and Eve are cursed. To Eve, God says, your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you. This is not God cursing Eve with this temptation that she's somehow going to have the hots for her husband. The curse of sin in the world, particularly for wives, was the desire to usurp her husband's authority. This does not mean that male leadership is a part of the fall. The temptation, though, to overthrow it is. And so the call for wives to submit to their husbands as is fitting in the Lord is a callback to the creation ideal. And even more so, as we are new creations in Christ, what is set forth here is a greater ideal. We are to live it in a greater way. And so the term submit must be defined for us because we don't often use it when speaking about marital relationships. Hallmark isn't making Valentine's Day and Mother's Day cards about submission, but maybe they should because this is what God calls for wives to be known by. Submission means to give. In the context of marriage, it is the giving of yourself to your husband. Practically this looks like respect, honor, obedience, following, as is fitting in the Lord. The appendage of fitting in the Lord shows us that this is something that is in service to Christ, not man. May it be a blessing to you and your family to see that this is done unto the Lord. Submission to your husband is a command by God for our good and his glory. It is teaching that gives us freedom and ease, not slavery and stress. If there is any element of slavery and stress, please come talk to myself or one of the elders. That is not God's design. It is to give freedom because the onus is put on the man to take responsibility and care. The onus on you as a wife is to follow and cultivate and contribute. Some have sanctioned the practice of submission as anti-woman or license for abuse. I think neither of those are true. Have these verses been taken out of context by abusive individuals to justify sin? Yes. And we must grieve those actions just as we would grieve any misuse of the Bible. And we are to seek justice for those individuals whether by church discipline or legal action depending on the charge. But the next words that Paul uses here are words to husbands. That husbands are to love their wives and not be harsh with them. The call to submission is followed by the call to love and not be harsh. Talking the false claims of being anti-woman or being a license to sin. So please do not let sinful men undercut the command of scripture and others like it. God has given it for our good so that by this you would serve, please and reflect Jesus. One commentator on this passage says this. The term submission describes a voluntary offering of oneself to another in willing support to reflect the heart of Christ himself who though he was equal he willingly subjected himself to the father. Philippians 2 verse 5 and 8. Practically speaking it is meant that wives should offer themselves to their husbands with heartfelt respect and admiration in ways that honor them, lift them up and certainly and lift them up. The commentator goes on to say certainly this does not obligate a wife to follow immoral or illegal directions or subject herself to abuse. Wives of Bedford Press of Syrian Church would you see that this teaching here is glorious as it calls you to reflect Christ in your marriages. It is difficult but glorious. You might feel right now that I am somehow belaboring this point but I only speak at length because this teaching can so easily be confused and deformed. And in many ways I feel like I am simply scratching the surface. But the scriptures are clear that wives are to submit to their own husbands as is fitting in the Lord. For husbands Paul calls you to love your wives and not be harsh with them. This teaching feels far more self-explanatory than the last but it is not any less difficult. God has called husbands to love your wives and this is not a passive word it is an action word. Love is not just an emotion it is not just an intention it is the giving of oneself for the betterment of the other. In our sinfulness will make it in our sinfulness will make us blind and unwilling to live this out. Because you can get so consumed with the task of providing, protecting, being a prophet and priest that even in doing the task you can neglect the one whom you are called to serve your wife. This happens by maybe railroading them instead of helping them. Or you can neglect these responsibilities out of laziness failing to do them all together. Being harsh can take shape in our words and in our actions. Stonewalling throwing off restraint being forceful being condescending being dismissive or simply speaking to your wife as if she is another man. These are but a few ways that we can be harsh. And church I am first in line of being a failure at this because though we are new creations in Christ sin is crouching at the door. Crouching at the door we and I can so easily succumb to being unloving and being harsh. But leaning on the teaching from last week brothers we must put to death what is earthly in us. Your wife is to be the most cherished individual in your life and would we speak and interact with her as if that is true. Encouraging her supporting her correcting her as your wife with gentleness loving her as Christ loved the church not being quick to anger but being patient. The gospel re-orients marriage. It's not about us. It's not about children. It's not about feeling good. It's about loving the Lord and our neighbor as ourselves in light of God's design. This is a beautiful reality and it's meant to serve God, please God and reflect God. For those of us here that are married we must be asking ourselves is this what we see in our marriages today or not. For those who are married or have been married you will know that these commands presented here are very difficult to obey. So the question is not whether if you fail but when you fail how will you respond? Will you continue on in sin hardening yourself being obstinate or will you repent knowing that there is a gracious God who knows you're a sinner and has given you mercy and grace who died for your pardon so that you would not need to live in guilt and has given you his spirit so that you can obey today. God does not command us of things that he has not given us the ability to do church. He has given us his spirit so that we as believers can live as he has called us to. And so may we obey by God's power in his spirit. As a practical note for unmarried women who hope to be married one day as your pastor my encouragement is do yourself a favor and find yourself a man who is already respectable because the flesh will push you to disrespect him even if he's great. So please don't settle. Just start in the negative and try to bring it up to the positive. That deficiency will defeat you. For those unmarried men in this room who hope to be married one day do yourself a favor and seek to be a respectable man and look for a woman who respects you. Again you don't want to be living in a place where this foundation is already cracked because with time cracks get worse and that house will sink. The gospel re-orients marriage. It's meant to serve Jesus, please Jesus, and reflect Jesus. May this happen in our church by the power of Christ for his glory. Let's move to our second point. We've seen how the gospel re-orients marriage but it also re-orients childhood and parenthood. Let's look at verses 20 and 21. These verses might be the go-to verses for parents to try and encourage their children to obedience. And for children they might be the verses that you show your parents that they should not be provocative. I don't know how to say that word right now. It's not coming to me but to not be a provoker. It's not a word but we'll roll with it. Specifically the fathers should not be ones who provoke their children. As much as I like proof texting, I would really discourage you from weaponizing the scriptures to produce guilt instead of instruction. These verses here tell us how a Christian child is to live both in obedience to God and their parents. For the child you must see that your obedience to your parents is obedience to God. God has given you these parents on purpose to lead you, guide you, and provide for you so that you would flourish. Your parents, like my parents, are not perfect by any means. But my experience has been, more often than not, that my parents counsel their instruction and their teaching has been right. And when I deviated from them, I was more often than not harmed and hurt. I know that I am but one person and that my experience might not be yours. But I think that their counsel, correction, and instruction is what God has given you as a means of grace that you would flourish as a child. And this obedience that takes place hopefully in your heart and your life pleases God. Again, if your parent is calling you to sin or is somehow abusing you, say no, do not obey. That is not for your flourishing. And if that is taking place again, come speak to me or speak to one of our elders. That's not okay. But parents, this should give you pause for what you say to your children. Is what you're saying in accordance with the Lord Jesus Christ? Is it done? Is what you're saying in your deeds as verse 17 says, done in the name of Jesus? Or is it rooted in selfishness? Is it correcting or commanding your child for the idol of comfort? For pride? For your child to be seen in a specific way to the church or to the school or to the workplace? Or is it rooted in envy and malice so that you would somehow use your child as a trophy to parade them around? The counsel, correction and instruction you give should be measured by its accordance with what God's word says. It should be considered if it's actually rooted in your sin and what you want and actually what God wants. As I say that, some of you might be tempted to now avoid your responsibility of instructing your children. And that is just as bad. To leave your children to their own devices without instructing them because it sounds like too much work to somehow maybe possibly be sitting in the action. Don't fall to that lie either. God has given you these children that you disciple them, instruct them and that primary role is given to you. Not to Sunday school, not to youth group, not even to me as your pastor. God has given you these children that they will be instructed by you in the Lord. Though that is waiting, this is God's chosen method. Children would you see that this is a great blessing to you that you have parents so that you would have instruction and command so that you can obey all so that you can please the Lord. These are wonderful things. Children, you reflect Christ as a son or daughter as you obey your mother and father. To yield to their will and not your own. To serve and to please not just your parents but the Lord Jesus Christ as you reflect him in your obedience. Mother specifically and mothers generally would you see that you can either aid in encouragement or discouragement today. That your words of approval or disapproval matter. That what you say can either provoke your child or can help them. That it will help them flourish or hinder it. And yet again as a call back to verse 17, your words and deeds are to be done in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. And even if you do say the right words but at the wrong time, they are the wrong words. And that is difficult. You'll be cautious as you speak to encourage your children. Like I said this sounds immensely difficult like the other teachings in this section. But parenthood and childhood are to be rooted in the spirit of God just as submission to husbands or loving your wife. On your own we will not live this creational ideal. So turn to the Lord. If you are a child turn to the Lord so that you may obey your parents. For parents would you turn to the Lord and ask for God to make your mouth a mouthpiece for God. That you would humble yourself and ask for God's leading in that. It must also be said that this teaching applies both to adult children and young children. The temptation to this passage is to somehow section it off and say that well my children are adults I don't need to think about this anymore. The older your child gets the less the parent maybe gives words of counsel or correction. But you're still given that level of authority. So parents of older children though your words are less frequent to them they are still just as effective. To hear your dad or your mom say they are proud of you can radically change even the most adult of children's lives. It can make you feel like a child again or can make you feel like you're a puddle of water at any age. The gospel re-orients parenthood and childhood. It's meant to serve please and reflect Jesus. So we've seen how the gospel re-orients the home. Now let us look at how the gospel re-orients the workplace. Let's look at our last point employees and employers. Look at me at verse 22 to chapter 4 verse 1. I have phrased this point as employees and employers. But it's clear that in all of our translations these are not the words that are used here. Paul is speaking of bondservants and masters or slaves and masters. Thankfully due to the abolitionist movement we do not have bondservants and masters anymore. Though the slavery that is mentioned here is more like indentured servitude we are still grateful nonetheless for Christian ethic causing men and women to live free today. So how does what Paul say about servants translate to the workplace? Many in the first century did not have bosses and employees they were sole proprietors or they had at best a family business. So this action of working for somebody else did not actually take place in the first century except with indentured servitude and masters. But those who could not work for themselves would sell themselves into indentured servitude. Or if they needed to pay off a particular debt they would do the same functioning yes as a servant but really as a hired hand. The principle given here can then translate to how many of us are employees or employers leading to how we are to be Christians in the workplace. To the bondservant or employee Paul says you should serve with a sincere heart fearing the Lord not working as a way of eye service. Verse 22 to work heartily to the Lord not for man. Verse 23 knowing from him you will receive an inheritance to know that ultimately you are serving the Lord Christ. Verse 24 and that the wrongdoer for his bad work will be paid his due for his wrong. God does not play favorites. Verse 25 Paul is taking issue with the false work of bondservants that there was a way that they looked busy to their bosses but really they were just slacking off. Paul wants us to see that work is given by God for God to work unto God not for earthly workers. Our work often can be seen as secular that it's non-spiritual. Well what Paul says here we see that the implication is that our work is wholly spiritual. Whether you work at a bank or you work at home or whether you work at a nonprofit or you work at a school or a company you ultimately work for God. It is God who is pleased with you that you are to be a good worker. It is him that you truly serve. It is him that you are truly and ultimately to reflect. Whether you do this, whether it is God whom you are to reflect, Jesus Christ. Whatever you do, whether it is inside or outside, our words and deeds are to be done in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Bringing him honor and glory not reproach and shame. Our work is so spiritual according to Paul that it accords with an inheritance that Jesus Christ gives. And for wrongdoers it will bring them judgment. Church, this is why we cannot be Sunday Christians. That doesn't even exist. That you can't just be a one day a week Christian. Thinking that attendance here on Sunday is going to make you holy. What Paul gives us here is the transformed life. The spirit-led life that's embodied in the world. God sees and knows your heart. He knows when you work heartily or half heartedly. The secular sacred divide is a lie from Satan to somehow compartmentalize our lives to consider that God is not a part of our nine to fives. Would you not fall to that lie? Instead, would you see that the gospel calls you to a full life? A life that God is intimately involved in. To employers or bosses or masters, God calls you to a level of leadership that reflects him. Paul says in verse one of chapter four, to be fair and just knowing that you also have a master in heaven. And so, if you are a boss or a master or employer, would you see that the ways in which you deal with your money, that you deal with your employees has grave consequence. Has grave consequence. And my prayer is that we would see this and pursue a life of obedience in the power of the spirit, knowing that the home and work are meant to serve Christ, please Christ, and reflect Christ. And if you are failing in that serving, pleasing, and reflecting, that you would turn to Christ, asking him for forgiveness, that you may be strengthened to live out your new identity in the home and in the world. The gospel reorients the home and the workplace. And so would we see that today? Our imaginations or lived experience in the home or the workplace will be so incomplete if it is Christless. In society, we have seen a resurgence in the nuclear family and dutiful work. But if it is not shaped and steeped in the gospel, people are simply enjoying common grace and common good for temporal benefits. Nothing more. What we see in this passage is that eternity is at stake, church. Instead, would we see that the goodness of Christ our King, coming to live the life that we could not, dying the death that we did deserve and rising to new life for all who believe should also rise so that they could be dead to sin and alive to Christ, changes the very fabric of our being now and forever. That truth gives us a greater foundation for society, not just today on earth, but in the new heavens and the new earth. Where we will experience the fullness of this reoriented life with Christ our Lord. Let us pray.